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The Leaders

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I love life [14 Jan 2004|08:55pm]

[ mood | artistic ]

Living is all you've got. If you're not living, you're dead, and your not much good dead, so live. People are afraid to live, they think instinct is a bad thing. That the mind is the supreme dictator of their souls. It makes me sick to see people not live to their potential. They fuck up a beautiful soul. And it's not right. It's not right that a good soul gets a bad rep for it's own abuse. I just wish people would think sometimes, because it's not hard. If people would think deeply and see every point of view, then they would live in the utopia they wish they could buy. You need to fulfill your soul to be happy. Indulge in good, positive things. Don't fuck with yuor soul, cuz your soul will fuck with you. And you don't want any of that, trust me...

--Free Yourself.

This is what you get... [08 Jan 2004|05:45pm]

[ mood | aggravated ]

I noticed something funny. That people defend television. I was told today that television is "the coolest thing ever" Needless to say, that got me angry. No one understood why either. And I'm not saying I never watch T.V. but I rarely do. I find it to be a disgusting waste of time. Television is, and has been, the downfall of America ever since it's invention. People shouldn't fry their brains just watching mindless television for hours and hours. It's ridiculous. They think that T.V. is entertaining, I find it useless. The T.V. hasn't taught me a thing, except that the media is destroying the universe. Whenever some celebrity takes a dump, breaks a nail, or buys a new car the press eats it all the fuckup. Why? Because they have nothing better to do, because they know that AMERICANS ARE CONSUMERS! We take, take, take without any reprocutions at all. We live in excess, mindless consumer excess. We spend hours sitting infront of a box, watching people we're told to be saying things that we're supposed to think. The media dictates everything in people's lives. It's all some people talk about. And you know where they get this all from??? T.V.! Some people stay in on a specific night so they don't miss "their favorite show" I got made fun off today because I write, draw, and play guitar instead of watch T.V. I didn't realize it was wrong to express myself, better myself, and not waste away the soul I've been blessed with.
This brings me to this... Society's biggest problem is desire, humans desire. And when you desire you get greedy, when you greed you get lazy. Mankinds greed is the reason for all it's problems. Animals never greed. Have you ever heard of "the great dog war" NO! CUZ IT'S NEVER HAPPENED! Animals do what they need to survive and that's it. I am not proud to be in a country where consumerism, greed, laziness, close-mindedness, obesity, and a shopping list of other problems reign supreme. People make me sick. Nobody gives. The same people who flaunt that they donate to charity are the ones who would step on a homeless mans fingers. They are hipocrits in every respect.
Which brings me to this... " If you don't believe in god, I dont consider you an american." That's right folks, president Bush at his finest. So let's get this straight shall we? This dynastic pig doesn't remember why America was settled in the first place...RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!!! For fucks sake, he's supposed to represent the country, instead he represents every problem this country has. *including ignorance* He thinks he's a Stuart or a Borboun or something. If he gets re-elected I am going to riot.
Again, bringing me to... I am more spiritual than the religion I left. I find that ironic,and the fact I'm now called a heathen and hereitic and all sorts of derogatory things. I am more spirtual than my condemners. They say I don't belong because I've created my own beliefs out of the life truths I've learned. What's so wrong with being spiritual on my own terms. It's better than all thopse non-practicing catholics.* which is the leading american religion*

i don't know, I'm done for now

--Free Yourself.

this is what you get from me at 2 in the morning... (1/7) [08 Jan 2004|12:37pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

it’s our time

why do we even exist anyway?

The whole point to life is ironic. We’re born to die. We’re only here for a limited time and that could be taken away from us within the blink of an eye. Why? No one really knows. People say that it is the “pessimistic” way to look at life as irony but it’s the most logical idea I’ve come up with. Life is a joke. We go through all kinds of bullshit, a living Hell, that eats away at our “hearts” but it supposedly “builds” us to be stronger at the same time.

What I don’t understand is that we’re all just people-with all different personalities inside, so why does one person have everything served to them on a silver platter and complain to everyone that they’re miserable when someone just as “innocent” is living on the streets? Life is short, make it worth while… that’s what we’re always told, well what if you can’t? I think that people have to learn as much as they can fit into their little heads and be open-mined about it. People now-a-days are only being “taught” what’s “important” and they don’t do any research of their own. They cruise through what they “need” to know and give up. There are so many different ideas out there, there’s literally a world of knowledge out there and we take it for granted. People are just so self-centered and always indulging themselves they don’t even bother. We’re raised to be able to take tests (mcas), make money, handle money, spend money, retire, and die. And that’s it! Make life more interesting for yourself.

Why are we feeding the youth with corruption? The “adults” play mind games with each other and use us as their personal toy or puppet and when we finally get to speak our minds with our ideas they tell us there’s something wrong with us and leave us to chaos. They boot our asses out the door. And then they ask themselves why we end up the way we do. We should have the right to our opinions and they should LISTEN because we may not seem like it but we do listen to them.

The generations of society are quote getting worse every time around but who’s fault is it, really? The previous one! But they think that their generation was right and that ours is turning the world upside down. Isn’t that what they were told growing up? Sound familiar mom, dad? What they consider “rebelling” in their day is just what we’re doing now except that things have changed.

They always tell us, “well I was your age once too” and yes, they were, but not in these times. It’s so much more different now than it was and that’s why they don’t understand us.it’s like the people of the world can’t see beyond the tips of their noses. It’s all about how “right” everything they did and do is and how “wrong” we are and will be.

I’m just waiting for the day when the door hits them in the ass…

If they had to walk in our shoes for just one day, they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. Between all the bullshit we get at school, them screaming at us when we get home, to crying about how much you hate the world-they wouldn’t last. And you can’t just tell them everything because they won’t understand. The youth will always be fucked over.

They think we’re not old enough to handle an “adult” life when in reality we’re practically arleady doing it and most of them are more childish than we are.

Why do we even stick around with our parents at all?

(kevin, I think it’s funny you wrote that last post because I wrote this yesterday at like 2 in the morning… it’s always our parents’ fault.)

Hatred and “in other words”

the whole world is full of hate. Everyone hates each other and the people who say they don’t hate people hate the fact that the others hate each other. It’s an endless cycle.

Hate effects the way we think- it deranges the mind… it truly is a powerful thing. It can take over us!

Why can’t we all just smoke pot, listen to Primus, and get along?

Les Claypool is a brilliant man, he puts it just the way it should be:

quotes from the song David Makalaster
(for those of you who don’t know, D.M. is a newscaster, you’ll figure it out)

If you believe the things I tell you
I’ve a bridge or two to sell you


isn’t it awfully nice
to live in a world
where everything’s exactly how it seems
we live in a world
where all you have to do is sit around and dream

about the things that make you happy
about the things that make you smile
lay back, relax
apathy’s back in style

isn’t it awfully nice
to live in a world
where everything’s exactly how it seems
we live in a world
that stokes you in the fire
to build up steam

and then the man had to be even more brilliant and make D.M. II.

wouldn’t it be so nice
to live in a world
where everything’s exactly how it seems
but we live in a world
where bastards come along
and piss on your dreams

the dreams that make you happy
the dreams that make you smile
get off your ass
vengeance is back in style


“the wonderful awful world you all live in” ~ t.j. gallagher

set back

going through this age in life is hard enough, why does everyone seem to manage to make it worse? We bring ourselves down to our knees and cry for help but no one pays attention. And people are surprised when teenagers go out and commit suicide. They’ll say, “oh they had so much to live for” well than why the hell didn’t they say that to them when they were alive? Every morning we get up and put a smile on for the day just to get by and when we’re alone in our rooms at night we take it back off again. We shouldn’t have to do this. We try and tell ourselves that we are loved but we are not told this by others often enough. And they wonder why we’re filled with so much hatred… we’re told to our faces that we are disgraces by our own fucking families and then they wonder why we’re anti-social at the holiday parties… they leave us no choice. What even pushes us to care anymore?

I wrote this over the summer and never finished it.. I think I might though.

Dark clouds hover through my mind,
Haven’t cared for a long, long time.
Screaming, I’m bleeding through you,
Unprepared, help me, I don’t know what to do.
I’ve turned my back against the world,
Unblessed, and you’ve got pearls,
I can save myself.

Bash in my head of hatred though,
All this pain, feels like it never stops.
Who will care when I’ll be gone,
And if I leave how will they get along?


death beyond the bloom…


why do people believe in conformity? Why are all the authorities power hungry? How come no one second glances the real problems? Why are we letting society flush our culture down the toilet? Why is our country full of denial?

What the Hell are we waiting for? Why are we trying to always have someone else fix our own problems? Why can’t people just deal with this shit themselves?


The people, yes,
Out of what is their change
From chaos to order
And chaos again?

-we die because the people are asleep, and you will die because the people will awaken…

~that's all i got in me for now, i did write that the other night but i added a couple little things yesterday and today. enjoy.

~peace, althea rose.

3 Freed. --Free Yourself.

[06 Jan 2004|03:10pm]

just a little thought i had today. goes along sorta with altheas comment.

If we didnt have parents would things be alot better?

Animals dont stay with there parents and return to them in there future.they just go off on there own. they make there own descisons. they dont rely on there parents either. if we were just born then like seperated from a parents and like somehow we could be taken care of till we can walk or something we might be better off. parents are the cause of alot of problems in people. emotional and physical and other things. kids might be discrimnated against cause there so and so's kid. pressure gets put on kids from there parents. Some people are raised the "wrong" way and the kid gets blamed for his mistakes when really its the parents fault there like that. parents pressure kids into sports and other shit. one kid i read about, His dad would record every game of his then show it too him afterwards and point out all the kids mistakes, the kid finally couldnt take it anymore and shot his father. shit like that wouldnt happen if we didnt have parents. parents will call there kids "faggots" or "stupid", "good for nothing" is this right? kids shouldnt have to go through that! parents make fun of there kids if they are not what they wanted or there expectations weren't met. kids get put in dss cause there parents dont want them or couldnt handle them. another thing we wouldnt have to go through the grief of our parents dieing if we didnt have parents.

im not saying this is right, its just an idea i had in health.
--Free Yourself.

just a rant... [06 Jan 2004|11:46am]

[ mood | bitchy ]

i'm sick of these fucking ignorant people. when will they learn to open their minds and know that there are other kinds of people in this world other than themselves.

people lash out on one another not realizing the damage they can do with words. yes, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me", we are human, humans have emotions, they feel pain, i can say that 5 people in the past 2 days have brougth me down to tears just with the things they say to me because they don't understand anything.

no one pays attention to how far down the world is dropping, we're losing our society. what we think of to be normal is flashed on our television screens, we're practically brainwashed. so many things are taboo in this country, all the european countries all hate us and they wonder why americans do stupid things. to tell you the truth, i don't think half the americans could admit the fact that they have a problem and that there are problems they just can't even see.

the government holds everything back. trust me i know. there are so many cases of dss fucking up and covering their asses in court, it's unbelieveable. the system fucks us over in so many different ways and people don't even know. freedom is not free, infact we don't really even have freedom. anything that should belong to us is ripped away from us in some way or another.

what's the point anymore?

why do we even bother with this country anymore? people are drowning in their own childness. they're so naive.

i will never understand.

but being within the system... it's hard choice... should i fuck with the system and try to beat it or should i stay within the system and use them for everything they've got... i don't know anymore.

blah... i just needed to vent. i hate the world.


3 Freed. --Free Yourself.

karma [15 Dec 2003|09:42pm]

[ mood | complacent ]

i'll accept this karmic crusifixtion
as an enigmatic sign that i have done wrong
i beleive i nkew when you used contra in your diction
that the teaching that i needed was coming along

so let it be the lesson
and the lesson be the truth
and if you have done no wrong
then no wrong will come to you

full circle has my day come to
as i wake up in the mood in which i retire
so if you were made not knowing of blue
you'll be glad as you go to expire


i hope you didn't think you could get far
from eventualities you try to evade
cuz no matter how many times you switch cars
your number is up, the teacher must get paid.


where it stops is where it started
a part of which is now departed
it all comes back to you...
it all comes back to you...


i'll take the job as the great communicator
so that some day i'll be told a thing or too
ill take the fate of the hand inside the grater
so that what i take from me goes into you


that is the first song Jiva wrote. it's about karma. i'm a strong believer of karma (hence my lyrics) i am certain that it exists *now kevin, lets not get into that existance argument* if you give off negativity, that's what you in return. saddam got caught. atilla the hun died of a nosebleed on his wedding night. hitler died in his own gas chamber. all manifested evil has been brought down, where as manifested good stays (what little of it we have anyway) negativity is not a mainstay ideal, it always fails. why? because of karma. for those of you who don't know, karma is bassically a likewise consequence for any action.( e.i. if i kill someone i go to jail. if i donate to cancer societies, i might not get cancer) karma exists. and as much as people like to throw it up into coincidence and happenstance, everything you do comes back to you. no matter what.


--Free Yourself.

Hello morning... [14 Dec 2003|02:32pm]

[ mood | artistic ]

Most people are ignorant to the world around them. All thy know and care about is themselves, and these selfish bastards take as much of the world up as they possibly can. They use and they use and they use untill there is no more for everyone else. They are literally wasting breaths. These are the people who make our decisions, they make our laws, and worst of all, they break the same laws they enforce on us. People hide behind age as if it is a sign of superiority. Just because you're an adult does not make you more important, smarter, or better than a child. Children get left behind in a world where people of the past have created hardships that, in turn, we must follow suit in. The cost of living is the highest anyone can pay. I have never seen an animal leave their young to go work and make money, I've never seen one make fun of, or oppress one another. You know why that is? Because we used to be survivalists. But now all of a sudden, a human being isn't an animal. We're born, given a number, and made to work. Nothing else. The people that still have these animality's about them are considered troubled and are ridiculed, put away, made fun of. People said to be "crazy" or "retarded" are really just more of an animal then we are. Killers are just the predators of our species. Is it so hard to figure out that we are animals, with animal instincts? Yes we are, possibly, the most "advanced" animal, but this brings me to the thought of a quote Mr. Phanuef said in art class, mind you this isn't the exact quote..." As humans weare given the choice between right and wrong. Animals cannot choose between right and wrong, they go by their instincts. Animals always do the right thing, where as hmans often choose the wrong. Is that freedom?" There you go, people deny themselves their basic right of natural instinct, I'm not advocating any kind of social anarchy or anything like that, I'm just shining some light on this whole thing. I will admit, I do like the way humans live, because right now between being outside, naked in the cold, or being clothed in my warm house, I would choose the latter. But, wouldn't anyone? Or any animal for that matter? Society isn't all bad, it's just not all good. And yes, there are problems, don't deny them, don't embrace them, fix them!
thank you

--Free Yourself.

This is not about life. It is about life. This is the book that defies the laws of all traditions. [08 Dec 2003|06:23pm]

Chapter I "The dEvil inside yourself"

We structure and teach our young the "right way" to make better adults. When in reality we are just putting a mask over the devil inside of us begging to come out. Essentially, we have established as civilized humans that giving in to too many of our desires is wrong. You can only be so happy, and then it is a crime.

I once read in a book that the true satanist does not belive in a Satan, or Devil. They belive in the evil inside of themselves. The evil that is constantly screaming to come out and play.

So why do we think in our perfect little minds say to us that when you do something "your not supposed to do" that you shouldnt do that, its not "correct"? What is that voice that tells you its wrong. If you look at it this way, we are the one and only species on this planet that has that voice that tells us "no, this isnt right". Other species do only what they have to survive and maintain their existance, thats it. If a cat all of a sudden wants to go fuck another little kitten, he does it. Nothing tells him not to do it, and nothing stops it. If that same cat later on wants some food, it goes out and kills something, and nothing gets in its way. I am in no way saying that rape and murder is right, but rather I am questioning what makes a bad thing to do wrong?

Chapter II "The Perfect World"

Our minds are so advanced for us, and in turn, it makes us less satisfied. Just by typing this on my computer, in this room, talking about how fucked up life is, makes me unhappy.
The more that our human race tries to build the perfect world, (and the perfret human, for that matter) the more and more dissatisfied we are going to become. Other animals cannot build perfect worlds for themselves because they are too stupid. If a squirrel could have someone else gather the acorns and build the nest for them, they would, but really, they are too stupid to know that it is even possible.
So the subject of the construction of "The Perfect World" leads me to one question: Where does it end? How long is it going to take until we finally realize that all the while we've been building the perfect world, we have actually built the perfect cage, the perfect hell.

Chapter III "The Cycle of Life"

Am I wrong when I say that the majority of humans fear that we could go to hell when we die? Dont think so. Everyone is afraid to die, weather it be only a little, or alot. Why are we afraid of hell when we are living in it right this very moment? Consider this:

Since about the time that humans have created language, we have been living out the same life as follows:

1. You are born into this world, innocent and flacid. Ignorant to anything that is happening in the world at the time.
2. You get educated by everyone around you, they teach you everything. They show you the "right way" so you can be "happy" someday. Essentially, they teach you how to make MONEY, because without money, there is no "happy". They will teach you until you are so sick of it, and right at that peak, they set you free.
3. Once you have learned how to produce more wealth on your own, and they are sure you can be a worker, they set you free.
4. Work. Work your fucking body until you cant go on. Work until you are sick with hate. Work so you can enjoy your money.
5. Have a family, teach your kids how to make "happy" little lives for themselves.
6. Work more. Work more. Let me say it again.... WORK. Get up every morning, resisting that little alarm clock beside you, and get up. Get clean. Go to fucking work, and dont complain. Go to work even though that dEvil inside of you tells you to throw the alarm clock out the window and sleep until you can really wake up and enjoy your day.
7. By now, you are old. You are grey, and you are unhappy. So, as a countermeasure, you stop working, and retire from life. You take all the savings you've had to enjoy what little time you have left, and then before you know it, You're DEAD.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong to say that ever since our species has developed that we have been carrying out our lives in this manner? We have built our own hell, and we live in it, everyday. If we are so "advanced" than why dont we do the things that bring us joy, and do what we need to do to stay alive.

Do not be afraid of going to hell. The world you live in is in a far worse state that anything else imagineable. Dont fear hell, you are already there.

The "basis" of life, organisms, the earth, is nothing more than a stereotype. It is nothing more than a story that has been passed down from generation to generation for hundreds of years. They tell you what life is about, what is good and what is bad, and you just eat it all up. Everyone else accepts it, so why dont you? If I jump off a bridge are you going to too?

I'll leave you with that for now.

Brandon Alan Veracka


I intend to write more chapters in the future. Right now this is all I have and I hope you like it. As soon as I come up with more, you will see more.

The Fine Print: I encourage anyone to read this. If you like it, well then that means that you are open-minded, and you can handle it. If you skimmed through it and though it was all bullshit, you are in denial. You dont want to hear it, so you stopped reading it, and that is fine. Live your life and just do what you should. I dont expect anyone to just jump up and stop being human. If you think Im a sick and twisted idiot call this number: 1-800-EAT-SHIT. Do not copy any of this. Paste it, print it, show it to your friends. If you copy it and take credit for it, there WILL be fucking murders. Thank you. -Brandon
--Free Yourself.

[05 Dec 2003|10:45pm]

oh yea if you wanna join this community. Email gotothecemetery@hotmail.com ..with a little paragraph on your views of things...
--Free Yourself.

the start of it all. [05 Dec 2003|10:31pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

::this note took place in biology in classroom 123:: its basically the reason this community exists..

hey man do you ever stop to think "who are these people around me and what is this place im in" and try to look at where you are from the atmosphere and realize you arent much and we probably cant really do anything to change the world and everything gets to complex to write down on paper..and like if you look at someone and think who is that, like if you didnt know them at all or anything you get this wierd feeling.

yeah all the time..

those shades resemble bars i feel like im in jail, the wall outside seems like theres no way out.if i look around the room i feel like theres so much space of nothing , i feel trapped, i feel claustrophobic kinda. i feel like if i look at the cieling too long the room tilts or tips upside down.

whoa dude, yeah

isnt it nuts...i seriously am fucked up or something i look at things in a different perspective, in ways no one else does.

i know what you see man.i dont know i dont feel right man but i feel wicked different right now.

me too man i dont feel right somethings clicked in my brain, maybe a tragedy or a breakthrough will happen or maybe not maybe were just loosing it.

either way, this should be interesting. you know how animals know when storms come. well maybe we know when shit is gonna happen.its ironic that were writing in the condition the world is in.

yes...dude theres only one tile missing from the cieling, its wierd its like i could fall in there...

i wonder where it went.

what does the cieling resemble?

they look like big computer chips and were inside, finding information for someone, we dont exist.were cybor beings working for a higher power or at least thats what the cieling looks like.

theres sublimnal messages in the order the wholes in the tiles on the cieling are made.

..and everytime we look at it, were told to do stuff we dont want, but we cant help it because thats just how it is. free will is a lie to make the slaves feel free.

what if the books we read arent really what we think its says.how do we know what it really says?

i dont know man maybe its all different, who knows.

dude were natural machines theres something embedded in our brain or bodies driving us to do what we do. are we controlling ourselves or is there something else making us.

i dont know i think people like us control ourselves others dont they couldnt handle the freedom we share..

the more you think about life and disect it and shit the more you feel unreal...

when we talk how do we know if were really speaking what the other people think were sayin

yeah, same with reading...

later on that day he called me and i asked him if he could prove it was really him he said yes ill come over and show you its me but i go no oh can you really prove you exist you cant its impossible...and how can you prove you are who you say you are are you really who you think you are you may be a whole other person ...who knows...

and thats about when we felt different from the rest of the world we felt like another existence..

2 Freed. --Free Yourself.

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